



Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear.— Mother Teresa, September 1979Neuner would later write, "It was the redeeming experience of her life when she realized that the night of her heart was the special share she had in Jesus' passion."
"The tendency in our spiritual life but also in our more general attitude toward love is that our feelings are all that is going on," [Kolodiejchuk] says. "And so to us the totality of love is what we feel. But to really love someone requires commitment, fidelity and vulnerability. Mother Teresa wasn't 'feeling' Christ's love, and she could have shut down. But she was up at 4:30 every morning for Jesus, and still writing to him, 'Your happiness is all I want.' That's a powerful example even if you are not talking in exclusively religious terms."
Martin [...] counterproposes her as the heroically constant spouse. "Let's say you're married and you fall in love and you believe with all your heart that marriage is a sacrament. And your wife, God forbid, gets a stroke and she's comatose. And you will never experience her love again. It's like loving and caring for a person for 50 years and once in a while you complain to your spiritual director, but you know on the deepest level that she loves you even though she's silent and that what you're doing makes sense. Mother Teresa knew that what she was doing made sense."
The particularly holy are no less prone than the rest of us to misjudge the workings of history — or, if you will, of God's providence. Teresa considered the perceived absence of God in her life as her most shameful secret but eventually learned that it could be seen as a gift abetting her calling.
Yes he is. He tells us so in Scripture:
Then the Lord said to (Moses), "Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?" (Exodus 4:11)
As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:1-3)
To be clear, God's sovereignty doesn't mean he merely permits disability. These verses show us that he sovereignly intends it, both for his glory and for our good—"that the works of God might be displayed."
With that in mind, what do you think about this expansion of Psalm 139:13-16? I've added some additional descriptors in italics to bring out what we really mean if we believe that God is sovereign over disability:
For you formed my inward parts with Down syndrome;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb without eyes.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made with cognitive challenges.
Wonderful are your works in creating me without limbs;
my soul knows it very well though my ears will never hear a sound.
My frame was not hidden from you as you made me with Apert syndrome,
when I was being made in secret with autism,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth without Hexosaminidase A.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance with spina bifida;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me with cerebral palsy,
when as yet there was none of them.
* * *
For more biblical and visual proof that God is sovereign and good in designing disability, check out Krista Horning's new book Just the Way I Am.
When large Black women smile and greet me, “Heyyy shu-guh!”
Fresh baked cookies
Excellent haircuts
Sense of accomplishment
Having someone to talk to when feeling completely alone
Connecting with someone on a deeper level... depth in relationships
White daisies
Pink and yellow tulips
Being missed
Genuine words of affirmation
Chocolate milk
Playing badminton (slicing)
Cello music
Communion with God
Hope
Empowering individuals and communities
Compassion that unifies
Knowing how to pray for someone
Growth/progress
Clothes I can wear for years
Calculating tip as fast as I can
Fresh sangria
Korean BBQ
Missing people
Juicy oranges
Fresh/ripe fruits
When passages/concepts suddenly/finally make sense
Dreaming about what could be and brainstorming realistic ways to make it happen
Sense of family/community
Funny moments I can replay in my head repeatedly
Truth that transforms
Music that moves
Clean dishes
Biking downhill
A sense of purpose
Nature
Reading on the T
Remembering little things about people
Learning about things that are important to other people
Picnics
Photos that capture the moment
Thinking about Jesus
Making sure people don’t feel left out
When different groups of friends meet and genuinely like each other
Cooking with or for people
(Long) emails from friends/family
Google and Wikipedia
Letters
Completely honest and meaningful conversations
Sharing what I love with people around me
Swings
Trust
Reconciliation
Freedom
Restored value in brokenness
Simplicity
The bigger picture
Roasted almonds
Hot milky drinks
Getting back up and pressing on